A Poem for When You Need It Most, BTS

If you follow me through my newsletter (sign up here), or through Instagram, you know that my third poetry book is nearly here!

A Poem for When You Need It Most is a poetry book meant to meet you exactly in the moment you’re in.

I’m working super hard behind the scenes to help this project from a dream to a reality you can hold in your hands! Someone asked me the other day what goes into writing a book, because once the writing is done, the heavy lifting is done…right?

Short answer is, well, no 😅. I almost feel like getting the first manuscript together is the easy part—after all, I write so much + have collected so many poems over the years, that when a book idea comes to me, I have a lot of poems that I can compile and write others to weave them together to capture my vision. But from there, is when the tough tactical work really begins.

Book Editing: Arguably the most crucial part of publishing a book is editing. I feel like of all the poetry I share, writing is 1% of the effort and editing is 99% of the work. 😅 In addition to the countless editing rounds I’ve completed of my book, I send it off to several external editors for developmental edits (read: making sure everything makes sense 🙃). Once I get their notes and edits back, there’s more editing on my end to incorporate their notes to ensure the book is complete + seamless from cover to cover. I’ll then have another external editor review it again to make sure I didn’t make any other grammatical or spelling errors along the way.

Illustrations: Simultaneously, I also work on the book’s illustrations! While art isn’t my chosen form of expression, I do love to create line drawings to visually accompany poems within the book. 🎨

Book Cover: I then try to think through the book’s cover, and how I could design it to where it encapsulates the poems and theme. My goal here is for someone to look at the book, and get an emotional sense of the tone of the contents. This also includes the back cover’s copy. Since I do so many in-person events and markets, I see first-hand how important it is to get across the message of the book in just a few lines. Because the book cover is so critical to book sales and overall interest, I’ll usually have a few trusted folks give me feedback on multiple iterations so the final cover is absolutely perfect!

Book Proof: At this stage, I order a book proof to see what the book looks like, even if all the illustrations and poems aren’t laid out perfectly. This is so I can make edits both to the cover as well as the poems, since sometimes, having the poetry printed out can read differently to me. (Idk how brains work, but it happens every time where I’ll have edits once the book is printed. 😆)

Layout: I’ll then work on finalizing the layout with the completed illustrations, the edited poems, the final cover. In my effort to always strive for excellence (while trying to fight against perfection 😤), I’ll usually go through 3-5 rounds of book proofs and edits until I feel like it’s ready for print. During this time is when I’ll open up preorders since we’ll be in the home stretch! I’ll also start to send out early reader editions to book bloggers, podcasters, and influencers so that they can read, write book reviews, and spread the word prior to launch!

Preorder Setup: Opening up preorders means a ton of website work, updating pages, keeping folks updated through newsletters, and starting to form a launch team to help spread the word (you can sign up here)!

Launch Prep: I’ll then follow up with venues that I booked prior to confirm the event date for my book launch and start to create social media content to help support the launch.

Merch: Somewhere in there, I also make merch to go along with my poetry launch, and also order several proofs of merch to make sure that the quality is well, quality. 😆

Book Launch Day: Once the book is released then that’s where we really get cookin’! Living off of no sleep but sheer excitement, I’ll sign and write a personal message on every preordered book. I’ll also box ‘em up and ship ‘em out for out-of-state readers. That night, I host my poetry show and book signing! I love how immersive poetry can be so I try to find ways of bringing immersive experiences into the poetry show.

Social Media: Throughout this whole time, I also create and share social media content. This can be one of the most exciting (and draining!) parts of publishing a book since I don’t loooove to live on social media. But I’ve found that it’s absolutely critical to let people know about the book. It’s also fun to share in the excitement and anticipation with others! I also try to share more frequently about my writings in my newsletter since these are my most loyal friends + readers. <3

Wow! Even writing this out, I feel like there’s a lot while also not really even scratching the surface. 🥲 So yes, so much goes in to preparing, publishing, and releasing a poetry book! I hope this was insightful if you’re a reader, an aspiring author, or just a lurker. 👀

A Poem for When You Need It Most is far along on some of these areas, and a bit behind in others in preparation for the late Spring release….so with that being said, I’ll catch y’all later!

Peonies, again

My dad sent me photos of my mother's
peonies today, their buds beginning to bloom
in her backyard botanical garden. 

That car conversation with my dad reminded
me how I’m grateful I exist; 
and I’m grateful that I feel grateful to exist. 

Last year’s peonies and I were left
a mangled chaparral– 
between the deer picking off our
blooms of joy, and the deep snow of cold
circumstance crushing.  

But in this year’s growth the goodness
is so full, and our flowers are so significant,
we kiss the earth. The rich aroma
of our resilience is worship.

And so, alike this year’s peonies, my joy, 
my gratitude, and I join in bowing to our Creator.

Thoughts of Truth

👋 Hiii friends, it’s been a while since I’ve shared in this space. I tend to go into private, solo-healing, writing-but-not-publicly-sharing mode when I’m met with grief. But I’m grateful to show up today and write to you about how I’ve recognized lies showing up in my thought life.

I’m pretty open about how I go to therapy. I’ve been going consistently for a couple of years and it’s allowed me to dig deeper into my healing and mental health journey. In recent months, during these therapy sessions, I’ve noticed how often I hold on to heavy or negative words about myself. Whether it was something said directly to me with the intent to tear me down, a phrase I've carried about myself since youth, or even something I've told myself—these negative thoughts tend to cycle through my mind more frequently than others.

And as obnoxious as it is, isn’t that true for all of us? Often, we ruminate on other’s potential perceptions of us, and can even alter our behavior on how we think others view us. In my job, I’ve seen how incredible ideas have been stifled because someone was struggling with imposter syndrome (ugh, the worst). In the prison, I’ve seen how women have repeated a generational cycle of abuse and addiction because of words they’ve held on to that were spoken over them during their childhood (which breaks my heart). Even in casual conversations, I’m sure you’ve seen friends hold themselves back from progressing, growing, or even healing, because of limiting beliefs they have about themselves.

We create narratives in our mind based on these lies and it keeps us from stepping in to the fullness of who we are. It’s so easy to remember the hurtful words spoken to us because they leave a lasting sting. And we all have things we believe about ourselves that aren’t true or helpful.

But what if you believed all the good things that were said about you?

You have value. You have great purpose. You are loved so much more than you know. As an antidote to the lies and hurtful words we’ve heard, what if we replaced them with these truths? Imagine letting encouraging words and kind notes fill our minds—not to feed our ego, but to embrace what is true and lovely, instead of what tries to tear us down. I have a sneaky suspicion, backed by personal experience, that this practice will transform your mind, helping you become confident in truth rather than bearing the weight of insecurity and lies.

So this week, really listen to others when they share encouraging words. Think about their encouragement throughout your day. And when those tough thoughts you’ve internalized about yourself start to surface (and I promise bbgirl they will), challenge these thoughts with truth. Replace ‘em. Talk back to ‘em. You have the power to dictate what you think about.

Annnd if you’re someone who believes in, or is open to reading scripture. There are so many great truths written about you (and for you). Here are a few verses that are perfect truths to have circulate in your mind on the daily:

Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT) “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.’”

Romans 8:38-39 (NIV) "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Galatians 3:26 (TPT) “You have all become true children of God by faith in Jesus Christ!”

And even more, we have the absolute pleasure and ability to be an active voice in uplifting and strengthening others. Shoot a text to a friend/coworker/sister/neighbor with a message of encouragement today. Let’s take this opportunity to spread positivity and support, transforming not only our own lives but also the lives of those around us. 💛

Sister series: for my sisters in prison

Weekly, I have the absolute honor to sit knee to knee with women who are currently incarcerated. Our small group of 20-40 women all come together to read scripture, ask tough questions, and listen to each other’s stories.

For three consecutive years, I wrote a poem inspired by women in my life. Last year, after grieving the loss of one of my dear friends, I paused. But as I was thinking of my lovely sisters that are behind bars, I thought I’d share this poem with them. And with their permission, I share it with you.

For my sisters in prison

Liberated, 
in her mind but not her body; 
society may remember her past sins
but the Lord thinks of them no more. 

She’s generous, giving away her
prized possessions of Little Debbie snacks. 
“A sister will never go in need here”, they tell me. 

She’s you and she’s me–stumbled in the past
but the past is not her present. She 
may be serving time, but she’s also serving grace. 

I’ve never seen such sisterly love. Such sisterly
support. She stands in the gap and prays for 
her sisters. She writes prayers for others on an 
index card because she speaks directly to God for 
her needs. 

She studies scripture intently, and lights up the 
room with her bright smile. She proudly shows
her scars, to show how God has been faithful 
though the pain, though He was not the one 
that caused it. 

She asks questions I don’t know how to answer
and humbles me with how much scripture she knows. 
As the prison walls went up, she let the walls of her 
heart come down. 

She knows her time here is not wasted, and 
she doesn’t waste her time. For she knows
today is only a sliver of space in contrast 
to the vastness of eternity.

---

Photos in prison are tricky (read: illegal in most cases 😅). So the photo above is snagged from the WAV Life Stories series, which I recommend checking out, esp if you’ve never heard stories of those behind bars who are pursuing healing. <3

Life is messy, but still beautiful.

Life is messy, but still beautiful was a stream-of-consciousness note to self turned poem. This poem sits atop a digital illustration to mirror and showcase the complexity and watercolor blend of one’s story, meant to inspire and encourage you today.

I wrote this after having a particularly challenging month where the winter-blues hit hard (which I dub as the “seasonal sadz”). This piece gave me the encouragement I needed to continue to press on, move forward, while still not minimizing the goodness, nor the hardship of life.

steady

A poem paired with steady stills from the present season.

Seattle, poem

I don't have much to share today, aside from a poem I wrote last year. Have you ever gone thrift-store shopping and there was a find that you fell in love with? While it may be an article of clothing that was made a while ago, it's new-to-you, and it sparks joy. 🎉

That's basically this poem, minus the musty smell. 🙃

Seattle

Forget by Shallou plays 
in the foreground as seagulls
scream in the distance; 
we whisper sweet nothings in 
a bougie BMW SUV in Seattle. 
I run my fingers through his hair in
harmony with the melody. 

We watch the sky through the sunroof, 
and talk about how tall these trees must 
be; I put my hair in a top knot to tame it 
from the whipping wind and admire 
the yellow blossoms I spot on the shoulder
of the road. 

Lethologica is an unknown or forgotten
word, living fully its meaning and purpose. 
But I’m writing these words to intentionally not
let this memory slip past my mind. 

I consciously un-wrinkle my brow in rebellion 
to the bright sun. Riding downhill, a freeing 
feeling with a bit of reckless joy. 
Momentum pushes us forward.

We find the beach is unfit for camping, so
we haul our belongings back, but before we do, 
we sit in the sand and watch the frothed milk
waves erode the black rocks; a moment of 
mindfulness under the full moon.

But that He heals

Many of the things that have been 
said to me or I’ve said to myself were 
baseless or distorted; said in effort to 
tear down in order to salvage a fragile ego; 
a comment said in passing that was simply unkind;
a conscious effort to thwart my potential; 
something that was said through the lens of pain 
since hurt people, hurt people.

It stuck. The seeds of darkness grew. 
At times, I hurt others; but always, I 
blamed myself. I replayed each encounter
until I was stuck in a shame cycle. One can 
only have so much self-hate until they break. 

I broke. And I broke open. 

In my most desperate time is when 
I was met with the most patient love. 

None of my hurt was erased, but I 
no longer had to carry it alone. 

It didn’t start with a radical 
mindset renewal. It started with 
simple words of truth–a healing salve, 
and genuine love–a healing balm.  

The renewal of my mind was gradual; 
the hatred I had for myself started to heal. 
I was told I had worth. That I was created
for such a time as this. On purpose. For a 
purpose. I was told I was chosen, loved. 
I received forgiveness. And in that, freedom.

The hurt I went through was not the 
intent, but has been used for good–
allowing me to extend empathy, 
understanding, 
hope. 

My scars aren’t evidence that God hurts, 
but that He heals.

Breathing, Poetic Meditation

This is a ~4 minute meditation, based on the poem 'Breathing' from my poetry collection, Morning Air, Morning Light.

I developed this meditation during my artist residency in Barcelona in the summer of 2022. I captured this footage when I was on a hike in Colorado with Ricky and my mom. So much love poured into this piece, I hope it inspires peace into you day. 💛

If you liked this, you'd enjoy my poetry collection, Morning Air, Morning Light. Snag a copy for yourself, a sister, or a friend who may benefit from a bit more peace + breath within their life. ✨