Columbus

Ricky and I transitioned back to Ohio, two days ago, after living in Nashville for almost four years. We left with nothing but gratitude for Nashville, and it forever has a piece of our heart. Now in Columbus, my mind’s capacity is filled with the current day, this current joy. I’m so thankful for this place–my once called home, now called home again.

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Columbus

By Regan Smith

• • •

Columbus met me
with full yellow blooms
and weepy grey skies.

She was once my patient mother,
when I had first arrived,
and called her my home
six years ago.

She was gentle,
stroked my hair,
let me cry as I
healed from hurt,
and purely listened.

She watched me
get married,
taught me how
to steady my lifestyle,
and would sing me
lullabies in the thick
of the forest bed.

She let me leave,
sending me with
nothing but love.

During my absence,
I learned discipline,
firm teaching that
truth and love
should never be
untwined; rewarded
with strength and
responsibility.

And now,
four years later,
I cross state lines,
landing back in
my mother’s arms.

And while she’s
thankful I’m coming
home, she knows that
I’m not returning solely
as a daughter,
rather a mother myself.

I’ve fallen pregnant
with dreams and visions,
the beginning of a
lineage that will stretch
across the world;
and now I wait patiently
to give birth, saying
a prayer every morning,
preparing my mind
and my home.

And again, she’s gentle,
as I ask how to nurse and
nurture these newborn
dreams that will
come to fruition,
and take full form.

Metamorphose

I’ve wrestled with how to announce this upcoming news, and settled on writing the way I only know how–with upfront honesty. In the next month, Ricky and I will be moving from our home in Nashville to our once-called home city in Ohio. As the days move closer to the state-to-state move, which is still in the hazy future, more and more mixed feelings are tossed about. But there is one thing I am sure of. This move will fulfill our dreams, our purpose.

For those that know me personally, or have followed our story, Ricky and I moved from Columbus, Ohio to Nashville, TN about 3.5 years ago. It was the best move that we had made in our life. Columbus was the place where I rehabilitated from toxicity, ranging from physical healing from self-harm to the initial steps of mental-healing from trauma. I met Ricky there, and we fell in love.

Alike my initial Ohio move, Ricky and I were purposefully brought to Nashville. It was under the unknown guise of Ricky pursuing music and his band, but it was a predestined plan to take Ricky and I into deeper revelation, healing. There were things within my heart that I never anticipated to unlock: bitterness that had been rotting within, jealousy and hatred hidden in my heart.

It wasn’t Nashville that unearthed this in me, rather the season. This was the time where I was mentally ready and willing; this season pulled all the ick out of me, like a purifier. It didn’t leave gaping holes, rather filled with an abundance of joy. I re-found my love for writing here, which has wildly flourished to me publishing a poetry collection. I befriended conviction, the honest friend, always looking out for my best. But most importantly, I’ve allowed Holy Spirit to awaken in me, rather than ignoring and silencing it to dormancy in my life.

I know that when I move back to Ohio, this will carry along with me. My previous dwelling in Ohio to now, is truly as contrasting as death and life–a striking metamorphose. I wish to spread love and community around, leaking a trail of hope wherever I walk. My deep hatred for humanity stirred in my spirit has transformed into an emotional wave of love for people.

Several months back, I was exploring the Columbus art museum independently. While walking, I became engulfed with emotion to the point of tears. I saw into the souls perusing the scattered artwork–knowing that some are lost, others are overcome with anxiety, others craving community to celebrate their wins and encourage their dormant dream to fruition. This tidal wave of love pulled me close; it was an overwhelming confirmation that championed this change.

I feel incredible alacrity for this new season, this new location. Ricky will be settling into a worship/arts position full time at our previous church; I will continue to work at Lyft, but remotely from our new home in Ohio.

I feel such peace about moving to a place that I said that I’d never live again. The best is truly yet to come.

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EDIT: The Nashville Farewell poetry show has been cancelled due to the rapid rate our move is taking! Morning Air, Morning Light can still be purchased through this site and I will be sure to sign every copy shipped.